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Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Unheard Dreams...Tears fall from my heart not from my eyes...

Someone please explain me the rule of life. I have always wondered why women complain saying that “I wish... If not ....” whenever they face abuse of any kind. Well I believe this only a means to resolve your problems within yourself and carry on with your life. In hope that just in case that their life may turn out to be what the really dream of. A dream they want more than anything in their life but have the fear to tell out or show in any manner. As a grown woman now I understand that what most female population feels in their life. As for my studies goes 90 out 100 women in our societies are abused in one way or another. Just look around you. Any women you see they would have faced this in some part of their life.

When anyone so specifically says I am very happy with my husband, or family, I always wonder is that true, or are they forcing on the word happy so much because they want to tell them self that they are happy although underneath they are not. I guess biggest problem is most abused women hide the fact they are being continuously abused. However I don’t think I can totally blame them for doing it. Because I believe loneliness is the biggest fear itself. We can say that it’s either our culture or different aspects or our life style which has led to this fear. Let’s say all women, have the fear of being alone or being clue less life. This is a fact whether they want to believe it or not.

And I believe only a woman can understand how lonely another woman feels. Though I am one of the few South Asian women who had the privileged to have tertiary education, I can understand that how it is to b brought up in a conservative family, where you are thought to faithful to your husbands and family no matter what. And once a girl is married than the girl has to abide to all rules the husband and the new family keeps. I still remember my grandmother use to tell me when I was little girl, “a girl, a women is never free, first they will be someone’s daughter, so they have to live as their parents approve, than they will be someone’s wife, than have to live to their husbands rules, and once they become old they have to live according to their children’s rule.” I guess there was no end to women’s slavery. I am not saying that you don’t have to listen to your parents or husbands. But my point is has anyone remember”hello... you are talking about a person... not a slave or a dog”. I wish someone could tell all those people who think like that we are humans too and we have our own right live and express our views. By the way this not only my society but this is the Unwritten norm of every Asian culture, whether we like it or not. When we are brought up in societies like this it’s hard for us women to identify the limit. We silently accept everything, although in our hearts we feel that this wrong and i wish I had some way...

Let me tell you a wildly known secret we women are good in hiding our sorrows though we cry a lot. Most women hide being abused, thinking it’s their only way in life or for the fear of letting anyone know that they are facing this dilemma. In deep down they wish they could go out it or find a way out. But they are too afraid to be blamed or being left alone. And this doesn’t happen only in poor and educated societies. This is always happening majorly in as we put “high” class society. These women see the way out in front of them... But yet they are afraid to let the hand out. You just keep holding to what you want to let go so badly. And you wish someone will come and pull your hand out of the clutter. We always think “he /they always Hits me, yells at me, or is always angry with us, we can’t never do anything right”. What wrongs is when this first time happen\s we expect them to understand and not do it again. If you are abused for first time, let someone know, because that once will turn to twice and it will go on... and once you live in this clutter for long you will not find a way out.. In some way without notice you get use to the abuse.

An unheard voice can make this go in so deep that you are unable to find a way out. Whenever you or anyone is abused don’t hide it, don’t keep the lid on, don’t keep the dream of fighting back from the abuse u face be unheard... because one cry for help is all you need. This world you don’t get anything unless you ask for it...

-Mariyam Nina Ali.

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